What to do? where to go? what to see, feel, think?

I’m lost in a world of confusion, chaos and mess.

And yet if I’ve created all that I see, then the chaos is in me.

Is it just the mind, the programmes that run, that creates this expression.

Is there even a me?

Am I just thoughts all jumbled up?

The plus the minus, constantly reacting retracting repairing, rewards of swaying back and forth.

Am I the space where nothing exists, pretending in a dream state that this is real, this is truth, this is it.

Or am I just kidding, trying to escape from what I create, because it feels so bad, so sad, so incomplete, not whole not perfect in its creation of me.